Turning 60: Reflections, Revelations, and the Road Ahead🍾🥂😉

Last Saturday, on the 27th of July, I turned 60, and let me tell you—it was a day to remember!

I made my way to London with my 18-year-old daughter, who has been steeped in 80s music since she was in the womb! My only request for the day was to attend Martin Kemp’s 80s brunch at The Fable in Farringdon.

The afternoon exceeded all my expectations. You know those rare days when everything just falls into place? From the moment we walked in, the staff were outstanding, the venue was fabulous, the music was fantastic, and then, to top it all off—MARTIN KEMP.

My lovely daughter had a word with him and let him know that her old Ma was celebrating her 60th. He was so kind and genuine—it truly made my day. Next up, I’ll be heading to Bordeaux for more celebrations with the family, and that promises to be great craic.

But enough about me. I haven’t written anything about myself in a while, and I’ve had so many messages from fabulous singles who’ve been following me for years, asking for an update.

I always said in my earlier blogs that I’d start dating seriously once I hit 60. Well, here I am, and I’m still happily single. So let’s move that benchmark to 65—or maybe when Lucy goes to university. I really don’t know when or if it will happen. Over the past few years, I’ve become very self-sufficient. Martin Kemp may be a lovely man who still looks incredible, but I don’t fantasize about him or any other man. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

It feels good to be where I am in life, but I know not everyone feels the same. My previous relationship played a big part in shaping my current outlook. I’ve grown stronger, and this growth came later in life, as it does for so many older singles—both men and women. We all make mistakes, but the key is to learn from them. I always tell my clients, if you’ve learned from your mistakes, then they were worth making. But if you keep making the same ones, it’s time to step back and do some work on yourself.

Becoming single after a marriage or long-term relationship in today’s dating world can be daunting. But if you take the right steps to heal—whether from divorce or bereavement—it’s time to look at your life and what you have left to enjoy. You can’t change the past, so embrace the future and the possibility of finding a new partner who might bring a fresh perspective to your life.

On the other hand, many people who’ve been wronged by a former spouse or partner have, further down the line, had the chance to reconcile and realised, “Actually, no—you did me a favour that I wouldn’t have done for myself.” Others long for the chance to reconnect with a former spouse and wonder if it could ever happen.

Then there are singles like me, who’ve been through (two) long-term relationships and once thought we needed a partner to survive. But now, as I mentioned earlier, I realise I can do all this on my own. If I find a partner who enhances my life, I’ll be happy—but I don’t need someone to complete me. It’s a good feeling, and one I encourage my clients to embrace.

I’ve dealt with all these scenarios, and it ultimately comes down to making the best of the life we have left and thinking outside the box when it comes to looks and the usual criteria.

We don’t need to have everything. We’re older and more independent now. Do we want someone who does everything with us, or do we need a partner who engages with us, makes us laugh, and ticks a few boxes—but is mostly imperfect, just like us?

It’s time to give up the search for that stereotypical partner and focus on finding someone who truly connects with us, even if they don’t fit the mold we once thought was necessary.

As I continue on this journey, I'm reminded that the best is yet to come, whether that involves a partner or simply embracing life on my own terms. If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences. Let’s keep the conversation going—after all, we're all in this together 😊

Warm wishes,

Jacqui Baker x

www.select-connections.com