One of the biggest surprises for many older singles re-entering the dating world is just how much the "rules" of communication have changed. It’s not just about what you say—it’s how and when you say it.
In modern dating, finding the right balance is key—too much texting before meeting can dilute the excitement, while too little can make the other person feel like there’s no real interest. Striking that balance isn’t always easy, and I’ve seen many people unknowingly sabotage promising connections.
Let’s talk about the two most common communication mistakes and how to fix them.
Mistake #1: Oversharing Too Soon
It’s natural to want to connect by sharing your life experiences. And after years of relationships, marriages, children, and careers, older singles have a lot of stories to tell.
But here’s the issue: when you share too much, too soon—especially in early texting or phone conversations—you risk turning a light, enjoyable interaction into something that feels heavy or overwhelming.
I often see this happen when someone starts talking about past relationships, health issues, or family problems early on. While these topics are certainly important, they’re not first-date material. In fact, oversharing can make the other person feel like they’re being handed an emotional load they didn’t sign up for.
The fix? Keep early conversations light and engaging. Think of it like a tennis match—share a little, then give them a chance to respond. Let curiosity build naturally rather than dumping everything out at once.
Mistake #2: Accidental Ghosting
On the flip side, some daters—especially those who aren’t used to modern messaging habits—go too far in the other direction. They assume that texting should be minimal, strictly for logistics, or even unnecessary until the date itself.
But here’s the reality: in today’s dating world, consistent communication builds connection. If you go silent between scheduling a date and actually meeting, the other person may assume you’ve lost interest. Worse, they might feel rejected before things even get started.
That doesn’t mean you need to text constantly, but a short check-in message—something simple like, “Looking forward to Saturday! Hope you’ve had a good week”—can go a long way in keeping the momentum going.
Why the Right Communication Approach Matters
The key to great communication in dating is keeping it natural and purposeful. You want just enough engagement to create excitement and connection—without overcomplicating things.
But here’s where things get tricky: different people respond to communication in different ways. Some prefer daily check-ins, while others find too much messaging overwhelming. That’s why I work closely with my matchmaking clients, not just to introduce them to the right people, but to guide them through the communication process. Because the reality is, a great match can fall apart quickly if the communication doesn’t feel right.
By tailoring their approach to suit the person they’re connecting with, my clients have far more success in turning introductions into genuine relationships. And often, just a few small tweaks in how they communicate can completely change their dating experience.
My Advice:
So, the next time you’re getting to know someone, take a moment to consider: Are you sharing too much, or disappearing between conversations? Adjusting these habits just a little can completely change how someone perceives you—and, ultimately, how successful your dating experience will be.
Watch out for my video on this; coming this weekend.
Take good care.
Jacqui Baker
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