Updated: Jan 2
This is normally the time of year when most singles make their New Year resolutions.
Resolutions or intentions are not all about cutting out some things from our lives but adding to our lives.
We know if we have overindulged during the Christmas and holiday season and we are now thinking, ‘I need to drink more water (less wine or no alcohol); I have had one too many mince pies, quality street, Thorntons, crisps, snacks, lunch, dinners, bigger breakfasts’. We are allowed to do this without beating ourselves up mentally.
I use January to treat my body to a healthier, more balanced month, where I walk for at least 1.5 hours daily. I don’t set myself any serious goals or challenges. This approach suits me and does away with waking up tomorrow thinking, ‘oh god, I’m on a diet, I need to join the gym, and I have juice for breakfast, an apple for lunch and a lettuce leaf for dinner’! It means that after 3 days, I am not fed up or depressed, and hating January even more. It means I am happy to remove the wine, chocolate, carb-loaded lunches, and heavy dinners from my daily diet and replace them with a healthier option that, after three days, my body is loving, and I am rewarded with better sleep and a more positive outlook.
This is a great way to start your January. It will give you a kickstart without pressure and one you can stick with, feeling the benefits and preparing yourself for the more important matter of putting yourself in the best mindset to go forward and find a companion/partner/lover/soul mate/wife/husband in 2023 to accompany you on the next stage of your life journey.
As each New Year approaches, a sense of alarm and being alone through another year of special events and occasions crawls up on us. The fear of never finding another companion to travel through (for many of us) what is the last chapter in our lives, we don’t want to do this alone, and we don’t want to die alone!
The saying is New year, New you”…..NO…. YOU/WE are brilliant in our own right. We do NOT have to change how we are OR make any major adjustments in how we behave.
But - maybe a few little ‘tweaks’ might be advantageous.
When it comes to setting intentions that involve matters of the heart, I have learned not to come up with a list of unachievable resolutions but to reflect on the previous year and identify things that have gone well and not so well. Then set two personal intentions, for example;
I will try new things more often – this little intention could cover many areas within our lives. Below, I have noted a couple from a much longer list to choose from;
Step outside your comfort zone and give the classic NY resolutions a swerve –
o Dating, instead think about the type of person you have been dating or searching for over your time as a single; think about dropping some criteria regarding qualities and not paying so much attention to images. Adopt the method of experiential dating, where you spend time with someone who you would not necessarily choose from their image or list of qualities.
o Lifestyle, time to shake things up. Why don’t you set some fun challenges for yourself for 2023, for example, couch to 5k -my sister did this 4 years ago (she had never run anywhere in her life and is now 60 years old and a keen marathon runner). She enjoyed the pace this challenge offered her and did not put her under any pressure to achieve (she set her own target). Write a short story or your first novel – why not? Years ago, this would have been unimaginable. Still, now many apps and platforms provide the resources for anyone to write a self-published book of any size or take up a brand new hobby that pushes them out of their comfort zone; for example, take up sailing or a nude life drawing class!
o Mental Health, many of us pass this off as twaddle and don’t take the time to look further into why we are feeling so lonely, sad, confused or anxious, especially on New Year's Eve; Make the effort to take quality time for you, and within this time plan to try some meditation exercises, which are known to enhance our long-short term memory, lower blood pressure and inflammation as well as give us a sense of well-being.
I will be more honest with myself and others – this intention is very important at any age, but more so as we age. It is not always easy to be honest, especially with ourselves. Please take a good hard look at your life and identify your weaknesses (it is tough to face the ugly truths about ourselves), but when we do this, we also can see our strengths more clearly. Self-honesty is key to personal growth and allows us to work on our shortcomings, move past them and become better people.
I have just touched on these tips because I do not want to make this blog a long and boring one. The idea of the blog is to give you some alternative thoughts to help you navigate your way into January 2023.
This evening as we are fast approaching 2023;
· Be positive about yourself, how you look, and how you feel.
· Be kind to everyone you meet.
· Take a chance on someone. Try to do a good deed daily.
· Know that love is not only available from a romantic partner but also from friends, family and sometimes strangers.
For more details on this blog and further information.