In the ever-evolving world of online dating, I find myself returning to this digital domain once or twice a year, searching for signs of change or shift in the dynamics. This year (September 2023, my journey took an unexpected turn, and I must admit, once was more than enough. This two-part blog series is my candid exploration of the cons of online dating from the perspective of singles over 50.
Online Dating's Dark Side for Mature Singles
1. The Allure of Addiction Online dating platforms can be remarkably addictive. The endless swiping, matching, and messaging can lead us to devote more time than we'd like to admit. What starts as a simple curiosity can quickly become an obsession, detracting from other aspects of our lives.
2. The Paradox of Choice The sheer number of potential partners at our fingertips can make us unnaturally picky. We've become a society of perpetual seekers, never content with the person in front of us because we believe there's always someone better just a click away. Is hair too short? Shirt not to your liking? Such superficial judgments have become commonplace.
3. Unleashing Our Inner Adolescents Online dating has a curious way of transforming even the most composed, professional adults into thoughtless individuals. We've all seen it, the ghosting, the unexplained disappearances, and sometimes the outright rudeness. It's as if online dating strips us of our maturity, leaving behind a trail of broken connections and shattered feelings.
Older people often turn to online dating for companionship, even if they don't plan to meet in person, for a range of reasons. Firstly, it provides a much-needed avenue for social interaction, helping combat feelings of isolation and loneliness. Emotional connections can be formed through these platforms, offering a sense of companionship. Additionally, the process of creating a dating profile, engaging in conversations, and exchanging messages can be an entertaining pastime. Moreover, the positive feedback and attention received on these platforms can boost self-esteem and make individuals feel valued.
Some older adults may also enjoy the hope and sense of possibility that online dating can provide, allowing them to dream and fantasise and the ability to share life experiences/stories with others, even in a virtual context, can be therapeutic and enjoyable. Importantly, online dating offers the option to engage without the pressure of physical meetings or the commitment of a serious relationship, which some older adults may prefer.
In short, when older people use online dating just for company, it can affect those looking for serious relationships because it adds uncertainty to what others want on the dating platform. To deal with this, it's crucial for serious daters to communicate their intentions clearly and choose the right dating platforms that match what they're looking for in a relationship.
4. A Shift from Soul Mate to Superficial Beauty The quest for a soul mate gets lost in the shuffle of swipes and superficial judgments. In our pursuit of physical attractiveness, we sometimes forget that real connections are built on shared values, experiences, and personalities, not just on a striking profile picture.
5. The Illusion of Instant Gratification Online dating has instilled in us an expectation of finding "the one" at lightning speed. In a world where a few swipes could lead to a lifelong commitment, patience has taken a backseat. Remember, finding a genuine connection takes time, effort, and getting to know someone beyond their digital façade.
Online dating isn't all roses and fairy tales. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions and, at times, an emotionally draining experience.
In this first part of my two-part series, I have explored some of the cons that singles over 50 may face when venturing into the world of online dating, and also for others who have been online dating/ for way too much longer than comfortable...why?
It's essential to recognize that people have various motivations for using online dating, and while some may genuinely seek companionship, others might find value in the less tangible benefits it offers. Additionally, everyone's circumstances and desires can be different, which is why some older adults may choose not to meet in person.
Stay tuned for the second part, where I will dive into strategies and tips for making your online dating experience more enjoyable, less frustrating, and potentially more successful. For now, remember that you're not alone in these challenges, and there's more to finding love than swipes and screens.
Please join me for my upcoming webinar on Sunday, November 19th, where I'll discuss the world of online dating for individuals over 50. In this webinar, I'll provide a comprehensive exploration of online dating with practical advice tailored for both men and women.
Topics will include identifying signs of becoming a serial online dater who may have lost sight of the goal of genuinely meeting someone, embracing authenticity in your dating approach, and maintaining respect in your online dating experiences.
It's essential to recognise that people have various motivations for using online dating, and while some may genuinely seek companionship, others might find value in the less tangible benefits it offers.
In this webinar, you have the option to remain anonymous, and you can also submit confidential questions beforehand if you prefer to keep your inquiries private.
Your anonymity and confidentiality are important to us.