Good evening everyone. I hope you are keeping well, enjoyed the long weekend, and had some fun and festivities.
I had no particular plans. I walked the dogs, met some friends, caught up with some work and had a few glasses of wine & Netflix 😊😉
I consider myself lucky because I am a contented single, and I actively choose not to be partnered with anyone at this particular time in my life.
I mostly enjoy being single because I still have kids at home and am so busy with my business all the time, but I find when it comes to long weekends, holidays, and Christmas that I miss having that someone to spend those times with, shoot the breeze with, to care for and be cared for.
I am two years down the line in a business that saw me start as a solopreneur but is now rapidly increasing and expanding, leaving me with very little time to devote sincerely to meeting someone and respecting the commitment that it takes to make a relationship work.
I find that as time goes by, I become more set in my ways and content with my lot, but many clients tell me that this will not be the way when I end up on my own, the kids have flown the nest, I get up to an empty house every morning and come home to the same in the evening. They tell me that loneliness can play havoc with your state of mind and health.
I believe that there is a difference between being alone and loneliness. I came out of a controlling relationship a few years ago, and I feel that this is my way to focus on priorities that I did not focus on for years. I have so much freedom to pursue my business dream and work towards goals that ultimately fulfil me more than being in a relationship. I am settled being single and totally embracing this time, pursuing my goals and working really hard.
My thinking is that before I am 60, I will make a choice to date again seriously, and at this stage (2 years), I will have an extended team in place, which will allow me the time to devote to developing a relationship (if someone will have me ). Having said that, I can quite honestly say that I will never live with a partner again. Ideally, I would like the LAT arrangement – live apart together. This way, I can still have the independence that I have come to cherish and still be committed to a romantic relationship. The younger me would never have thought that this would be something I would ever contemplate but then the younger me never imagined I would be single aged 57 and in the year that I would have been married for 30 years.
Whatever the circumstances have led to you becoming single mid-life/later in life are now in the past because when you are at the stage of reading this blog, you are now single. Many people struggle to leave this behind and move forward whether their partner left them or they are widowed. Both these scenarios require a grieving process (which we will cover in our 6 step challenge), and then it is time for you to decide how you want to move forward with your life and what form of relationship you are seeking, if any.
I aim to provide free support to anyone struggling with any of the situations below - provide online help, resources and signposting for all us older singles to realise that this can be the beginning of a new exciting journey.
If you are reading this and you are;
Ø Recently divorced
Ø Long time single
Ø Learning to be single again
Ø Struggling to move forward
Ø Unable to stop grieving
Ø You don't know what to do or how to go about the whole process of starting again
Ø Deciding what is next for you
then please join Melinda (dating & relationship coach) and myself, Jacqui, on our free six steps to recovery challenge commencing on 20th June for six nights.
Step 1 – Healing from loss. Here we introduce the five stages of grief and discuss suggestions for working through and moving forward.
Step 2 – Finding you – looking at your idea of happiness, what brings you joy and how to get more of that in your life
Step 3 – What do you actually want – looking at your 'shopping list' and what is important to you in your next partner
Step 4 – Deciding to date – how do you go about it, where do you start, do you go online/through a matchmaker/on your own
Step 5 – Dating – dating etiquette and how to keep your self-esteem whilst dating
Step 6 – How to keep your relationship going – here, we cover some hints and tips on keeping the relationship fun
Each step will include helpful advice, real-life examples and exercises for you to complete before the next step to help you identify where you are, where you need help and the next steps.
The 6 step challenge will run from; (each session will be 30 minutes long)
Monday 20th June at 7.30 pm
Tuesday 21st June at 7.30 pm
Wednesday 22nd June at 7.30 pm
Thursday 23rd June at 7.30 pm
Friday 24th June at 7.00 pm
Monday 27th June at 7.30 pm
Try not to miss any steps in the journey. You will have the opportunity to attend in private mode or participate at ease.
Please feel free to come along and listen – we will not ask any attendees questions but rely on you to type questions into the chat facility, should you wish.
We have written and developed this challenge and aimed specifically at people in their 50s, 60s & 70s who are now solo.
Feel free to join privately and ask us to send you resources at firstname.lastname@example.org or join our Facebook group below.
Take good care.
All the very best.