Following on from my Easter blog, where I chatted about celebrating our health, and being grateful for who we are, as well as what we have in our lives, before even considering finding a new partner. Taking all this into consideration, then figuring out what we want next in this third or fourth stage of our lives needs to be approached with caution - it is imperative not to rush this stage!.
I love this quote. “As we grow old, the beauty steals inward.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson. Simply because we become attractive, more so by our character, the lives we have led, the stories we tell and the mistakes we have made and learnt from along the way.
I digress. I like to add in some pieces that make us reflect on ourselves and what we have experienced in our journey so far. I have had quite a few emails (as a result of my Easter blog) from singles who can relate to many areas I have covered and continue to cover.
So, in this blog, I am going to cover the 'Cant Date' camp - they have not got a Scooby Doo (clue😉) about how to date in 2023. I will pick the 80s as it falls in the middle (the 70s were pretty much the same dating-wise). There was no Tinder, hinge, or Bumble. Most of us met our love interests through friends, at a bar or disco🕺 maybe at College/University. Dating involved meeting in real life, talking, and really getting to know one another.
Nowadays, thanks to online dating, we look at a profile and instantly judge the person on a photo and then a paragraph which is supposed to sum up their 50 or 60-plus years so far! Some of us take great photos, and some of us take awful photos, and most of us do not like our photos unless we take 100 and pick one we like!
As far as images are concerned - I always say to my clients, please do not spend so much time on the image, but read the profile I have written professionally, and if there are some points on there that you think are interesting and relative to your values, then go for it.
I ask them to think about buying a house in previous years - sometimes they saw a place in a brochure or online that looked fabulous, but when they got there, it didn't look so good, wide angles made it look bigger and filters made it look better, they were disappointed, the pictures looked great, the house lacked character and warmth. This could not be captured in the images. Then they saw another house in the area they really wanted to move to - the pictures didn't look as good as the last one did, but they would like to live in this area so they will go along and have a look anyway.......WELL, to their surprise, this house looks much better in real life than it did in the images; it has character; it is such an interesting house in many ways the images did not reflect, and it is everything they dreamed of...Wow, thank god they went along anyway.
'You' Love this house, and now in your mid-life or later-in-life you want this to be your forever house; that is why you have taken your time to choose it, and not for how it looks online or in a brochure, but how it makes you feel after spending time getting to know this lovely specimen - be it a house or a person.
For anyone entering the dating world in 2023, it will feel daunting, at the very least, and this is the 'cant date' camp, because you have told me so (you do not know where to begin) and over the next few weeks I am going to give you as much advice and guidance as I possibly can to help you find the best route forward and for you to prepare yourself to enter today's dating world.
I hope you found this message relevant and it touched something within you that will help you move forward.
Have a lovely Sunday evening.
Take good care.
feel free to email me at: email@example.com in confidentiality
Jacqui B xx