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Here I am, 57 years old, single and fast approaching Valentines Day.

It’s impossible to turn on the TV or walk into a shop without being bombarded with heart-shaped displays, images of couples and everything, and anything that has a Valentine’s theme – are you finding it as overwhelming as me?


Remember the simplicity of Valentine’s Day as a teenager? The giddy excitement of wondering if you’d get a card left in your locker or desk and opening it to find it signed with a ? from your mystery admirer? I would be in a constant state of nervous anticipation for days before the ‘big day, more so, at the thought of not getting a card!


I’m not sure the millennials and the Zen generation participate in sending paper cards, but most importantly - dreaming up the romantic or not so romantic poems to write inside!


Nowadays, it’s impossible to turn on the TV or walk into a shop without being bombarded with heart-shaped displays, images of couples and everything, and anything that has a Valentine’s theme – are you finding it as overwhelming as me?


There is often a focus on single people today, and many websites and magazines suggest things like drinking a glass of wine or watching a movie. Hardly ground-breaking. I mean, as a single woman, I do those things on a weekly (daily) basis!!


The worst part is being made to feel lonely by other people’s ill-placed sympathy. With their sad face and the “Oh no, you can’t be alone on Valentine’s Day” nod - but it’s okay for me to be alone the rest of the year then?


Do not despair; I decided to get myself some perspective here (for us male & female singles), and Valentines Day is just another day before the day after, AND it’s on a Monday this year, so it doesn’t matter! I (we) are perfectly imperfect and do not need a partner to make us feel complete. We will not use this day to dwell on feelings or overthink past relationships and why we are single now.


On V-Day, I will buy myself a bottle of Champagne (Aldi), a box of Hotel Chocolat (small as pricey!), have a long bath, throw myself on the sofa in my knickers and T-Shirt (the male version boxers & T-Shirt) Grab my champers and chocs and watch at least three episodes of Succession.


I mean, who needs a partner? We can celebrate all forms of love, between friends, family, and siblings, every day of the year, without the pressure of having to be with someone, spend money, or buy gifts that aren’t needed? Wouldn’t that make the world a better place and make February 14th a bit more bearable for all of us?


When we have the opportunity to find someone who suits our values and commonalities and start forgetting about the long determined set criteria of dashing looks, height, build, status, hair colour etc., This set criterion has ultimately led us to be single!


Let's be more open to who we date and step outside the box - do we forget about being attracted by a person's personality, OR have we left that behind. Back in the 80s or 90s, that is what we relied upon mostly but now, in this world of swipe left or right, we want instant looks and attraction - which is all wrong. So think again and maybe read the profile in-depth first and then look at the photo...and if the profile aligns to your values and beliefs, then at least agree to a coffee/tea meetup.


Jacqui B





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